Bully is on my Facebook; I'm pondering revenge

DEAR CAROLYN: Today is my birthday and I’m getting some nice messages on Facebook.

A woman I went to school with from grades 1-12, who for about seven of those years made my life a living hell with teasing, exclusion and all-around poor treatment, sent me a long private message this morning. Her message, summarized: “I’ve been reflecting and I see that I was a bully when we were kids. Sorry! I hope you’re doing well.”

I’m not sure what to say. All morning I’ve been indulging a fantasy of writing back to tell her that I actually don’t forgive her and have spent 25 years replaying all her insults about how ugly and stupid I am. That at least 50% of my time in therapy has focused on undoing the inferiority complex and imposter syndrome I developed as a kid hanging out with that particular “frenemy.” That her name is a household word, referring to someone who kicks you when you’re down.

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