You are the average of the 5 people around you! For years I lived by this saying but it took me some time to comprehend. Everyone has a circle of life. This circle can have as many layers as an onion but the first 3 layers determine your average.
The core of the circle is you! From the core you draw the first layer, the primary circle. As a child the people in this circle are your parents, siblings, school mates, etc. The older you get the smaller the circle become with an average of 2–5 people. These are normally the primary people in you life. The people you have an intimate relationship with or people that can always bring you back to you core if you every get lost. Your partner, best friend(s), or siblings normally belong in layer.
The second layer is where you start to build a social life. This where the cool interesting people you’ve meet through out your life filter through. This layer will continue to grow and change through your life. These are you coworker’s, potential business partners, mentors, etc. This where you start to develop your craft. This is how you grow and develop in the work world around you. You will probably spend more time here if you really want to grow and advance your gifts.
The third layer is where you friends, acquaintances, even some of your coworker’s. Theses people are here for one reason and one reason only for fun! They are the life of the party, they disconnect you from the world and you relax just a bit. If you stay here you will not accomplish. much. The hard part is how do you disconnect and when do you disconnect. To keep your average up you have to disconnect because the people in the group don’t necessarily have the same interest or belief like you. They come from all walks of life and give you a glimpse of the world beyond your view points. You will have great debates and conversation about a wide range of things. But you will have to work twice as hard to achieve your goals in life because you will only kind of work because the people in this group is kind of sort of working too because FUN is the main focus in this layer. You will probably spend more time here if you’re avoiding life. You will spend more time here complaining that you don’t have time to complete xyz because you was “busy” with something that really wasn’t worth it. Having fun will be your main focus so you’ll stay here for a while.
The 5 people around you should honestly come from the first and second layer of your circle. But often times the people in your top 5 are mostly from layer 3, a few from the core, and no on from the second layer. How do you expect to reach your true goals and level up if your not around the people that WILL get you there! You can not make it on your own, don’t you think you should have some of the people that made it in your corner to help you! There isn’t one person that’s made it with out having someone to guide them.
This is why being true to yourself and being present in your core is very important. Every year your social circle should have some changes because you should be leveling up in your life. You should be able to look at the last year of your life and say something has changed beside the fact that you’re a year older. You have to be able to say that I’m a FEW not just one step closer to my dreams and goals.
If you can’t say any of that then you’re spending too much time in layer 3. You have to go back to your core and redefine yourself.
You are the average of the 5 people around you, choose wisely.